02/04/14

Today I was feeling quite tired, so I found today a bit more difficult than usual. Not so much stressful, but difficult. I have also had a lot to think about recently, such as life after my Foundation Degree, what I want to do next, my work placement and of course my birthday, so I feel that all of these affected my energy levels today.

Neil did structure the lesson today much more than usual, but I feel that this could have been because Stafford College has recently had a new principal, and apparently she is giving all the staff a hard time, which I think is making Neil a bit nervous. Also I think what he wanted to cover in his lesson plan was a bit too much for just one morning. Also, I wasn't too sure where to start with his lesson plan, in which he wanted us to start writing a structure for a 5 year plan after the Foundation Degree AND evaluate our journal throughout the Foundation Degree, and to be honest I did find it difficult to get in the zone today, so I did feel a little overwhelmed. I spoke to Neil about this, and he wanted me to prioritise the 5 year plan structure. I feel that having this 5 year plan will be incredibly beneficial to me, and will reassure me about the future, as it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. It will also give me some set goals for this time period, which will be very useful for my plan and for getting where I want to be. Today I just wrote the structure, which didn't take me too long, but at least it will give me a good starting point and a good idea of what I need to write about and research.

I have also started to evaluate my journal. I started with the first term of my Foundation Degree, and it felt amazing how my confidence has improved since then. It also made me realise that I feel I would have been a lot happier and would have done so much better with my work if I did have more confidence back then. However, I do feel that part of my lack of confidence was caused by some of the people on the course at the time, as well as other people who did sort of bully me at the time, which was really upsetting at the time. I also needed to get used to a brand new course with brand new people and a brand new level of work, which was very daunting. However, right now I am much happier, both with my work and my social life in and out of college, and I also have a rough idea of a set goal for after the Foundation Degree, something else in which I was lacking when I first started the Foundation Degree. This is how far I got today, but I will need to continue with this work in my own time.

I am also pleased that most of the people from the Foundation Degree that I invited to celebrate my birthday with me seem up for it. I have decided to go bowling with them, and I feel great about planning something to do with them outside of college.